Captain Backfire
by Aurora2361
Summary: It had all started out innocently enough. Rowen had no idea that he was about to become the “Captain Backfire” of the Ronin Warriors! K for mild language. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own them… wish I did, though!

Captain Backfire

Chapter ONE

**Summary:** It had all started out innocently enough. Rowen had no idea that he was about to become the "Captain Backfire" of the Ronin Warriors. But not because of anything to do with messing up in battles, but Rowen had a hard time with his love life. And the next few days were going to prove just how much he could really backfire on himself.

It was a quiet night, and Rowen had gotten in from a very rough day of classes at the university. He swung the open to his stuffy, one bedroom apartment and felt around the wall for the light switch. Much to his delight, as soon as he flicked the switch, the bulb blew.

Rowen leaned wearily into the doorframe, and let his book bag slide down his shoulder onto the floor. He blew the one blue forelock from his eyes and sighed aloud, "Great. This is all I needed."

As he kicked his book bag into the room, he stumbled into the small living room, fumbling around for the lamp on the small end table.

Forgetting that there was a coffee table right in front of it.

Rowen slammed his knee into the corner of the table, causing small stars to form about his head. He swore quietly to himself, and flicked on the light. He collapsed into the overstuffed leather chair and rubbed his now sore knee.

"Could this day possibly get any worse?" Rowen asked as he rubbed his eyes sleepily.

Although Rowen was known for staying up and sleeping in late, these college classes were getting the better of him. He found it hard to pull an all-nighter, then trying to make it to class on time. It was especially rough for him to stay up till his usual three or four am, and then get up for his eight o'clock class. Rowen quietly pouted into his palm. If he ever did anything else in his life before he died of exhaustion, it was tonever sign up for another class that met before noon. What he wouldn't do to be able to sleep in…

Rowen smiled coyly into his hand as an epiphany hit him. Today was Friday. Which meant that he could sleep in until Sunday if he wanted to. Although he had three tests to study for, he was a genius… It wouldn't take him much to study for a few hours on Sunday.

God, it was great to be a genius.

Rowen could feel his eyes beginning to shut as he felt the familiar wave of sleep begin to drift over him. Suddenly, the phone rang in the kitchen, causing Rowen to jump with a start. Unfortunately, he jumped so fast that he slammed his other knee into the table. He swore a little more loudly this time as he limped over to the phone.

"Rowen's house of utter exhaustion… You stay; we guarantee a few minutes peace. How can I be of service?" he asked snidely.

"My, but it sounds like those late night study session are finally catching up to somebody." The familiar voice said with a chuckle.

"Oh, hey, Sage. You would be too if you were taking the classes that I was taking. It sucks to get old." Rowen sulked as he pulled out a stool and collapsed into it.

"And let me guess. You bumped into the coffee table again, didn't you?"

Rowen lowered his head onto the counter of the bar, and whined, "Shut up."

"I don't know why you keep the damn thing. You've always banged your knees on it."

"Well, I guess that I haven't reached that level of smartdom. Maybe being in college will help with that." Rowen said as he smirked into the phone, "So what's up? Shouldn't you be out partying, or doing whatever it is that you do?"

"Nah. I had other important business to attend to. Which is why I was calling you!"

"Oh no," Rowen stated as he shook his head vehemently into the phone, "I know what that means. Whatever hair-brained idea you've got, I'm out."

There was a small silence on the other line, "What?" he asked innocently.

"Don't be coy with me! I know that you're up to something." Rowen said as he reached across the bar and grabbed an orange.

He heard a deep sigh into the phone, and a tut-tutting, "Rowen, Rowen, Rowen…"

"What? It's the truth! Plus, I'm exhausted, Sage. These classes are a bear." He said as he began to peel the skin back, the aroma slowly drifting to his nose.

"You act like all I do is cause problems for you. And anyway, how do you know that this 'important business' involves you anyway?"

Rowen scoffed as he tore a juicy slice from the small sphere, "Because. You and trouble go hand in hand. And you always drag me in the middle of it."  
"You must have had a rough day." Sage stated with a little bit of disappointment.

"Why do you say that? Maybe the only thing I want to do right now is go to BED, Sage." Rowen ended as he popped the piece in his mouth.

He heard a sigh, "You are usually open to my suggestions. Forget that I said anything."

Rowen stopped chewing on his piece of fruit and began pulling another slice, "I'm always open-minded."

"Mm-hmm," Sage mumbled, "you used to be."

"What do you mean, 'used to be'?" Rowen asked as he glared into the phone, "And you are not quilting me into doing whatever it is that you want me to do."

"Well, I guess that you won't get to hear about who was asking about you today. But, no matter," he heard with a laugh, "you can't be bothered with these little petty matters anyway."

'Just say no, Rowen, just say no.' he told himself over and over again.

But, curiosity got the better of him, and he caved like the wimp that he was.

"Oh, please, all knowing one, please let my mind be opened and tell me who inquired about this meaningless little soul."

"Do you have a lab partner in advanced calculus?"

Rowen thought to himself for a moment, but with all of his classes jumbling together in his mind, it was beginning to cause a headache.

"Nope." Rowen answered off-hand with a shrug.

"Are you sure?" Sage asked coyly.

"Sage, do you know how many classes I'm taking? All I remember about calculus is this crusty old fart standing in front of the class spouting out theorems and proofs."

"Long black hair, green eyes, kinda short?"

Rowen gathered up the remaining bits of his orange and stood up, "You're loosing my interest."

"Mina Kozomoto." Sage finally huffed, irritated at his friend's disinterest.

Rowen threw the pieces into the trashcan, "Mina?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah. Her brother takes lessons from my grandfather, and we ran into each other when she came to pick him up. You remember her from high school, don't you?"

Rowen thought for a moment and nodded, "Yeah, but I never talked to her. I thought that she was seeing Ash Minimoto."

Rowen heard a clink of ice in a glass as Sage took a drink, "She was, but they broke up a few months ago. It seems that she has a little bit of a crush on you, my friend."  
Rowen's sea-green eyes widened, "Me? What do you mean?"

"Well, she mentioned being in class with you, and wanted to know if you were seeing anyone. And…" Sage faded off for his usual added drama.

Rowen rolled his eyes and smiled at Sages' drawn-out suspense. He allowed for a few minutes of the silence to continue before he asked, "And?" he asked.

"She wanted to know if you guys could meet for dinner tomorrow."

Rowen stared into the phone, knowing he must have heard something wrong. He tapped into the earpiece, and blew into it, hoping to clear the crud that had obviously muddled Sage's last comment.

"What are you doing?"

"I thought that you just said Mina wanted to have dinner with me. It's obviously a mistake."

Sage laughed heartily, and Rowen had to hold the phone away from his ear before it quieted down enough to hold it back.

"Rowen, you are such a geek."

"You mean it?" Rowen asked sarcastically as he sat down into his comfy chair, careful to avoid the ever-dangerous table.

"Come on, Ro. You'll have a good time. And she's asking you out, so she's gotta like you."

Rowen sunk deeper into the couch, "Do you not remember the last time I went out on a date?"

Sage sighed, "Yes, I remember. But this is different! She's asking YOU out on a date, not the other way around. I promise, this will be different."

Rowen sat silently as he waited for his friend to continue.

"We'll just put a piece of tape around your mouth so you won't say anything stupid, that's all." Sage said with a hint of a giggle.

Rowen covered his face and pouted, "I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. She shouldn't have teased her hair out so far if she didn't want anyone to say anything about it."

Sage laughed until he cried, "God, that was the most awful first date that I had ever heard of in my life!"

Rowen sighed as he waited for his friend to quiet down. Finally, after an eternity, Sage sniffed and dried his eyes, and was calm enough to speak to his friend.

"Come on, Rowen. She's sweet, and she seemed interested."  
Rowen thought it over for a minute, then finally sighed and caved. Sage was right. Not ever date had to turn out the way that the last one did.

"Alright, tell her I'll be there."

"Great!"

Sage told Rowen where to meet her, and what time. After Sage and he exchanged good-byes, Rowen pushed the off button on the phone, and covered his face with a pillow. He screamed into it as loud as he could. Why did he get talked into these stupid situations when he knew how it was going to turn out! He slowly removed the pillow and covered his face.

'Oh well,' he thought to himself, 'it shouldn't be that bad. I mean, what can I do to make it completely horrible?'

He smiled to himself as he realized that he was over-reacting. He began to get up to put the phone away when he thumped his knee into the table once more. He cried quietly to himself as he hung up the phone and limped off to bed.

So far, this wasn't appearing to turn out to be such a good idea after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em… wish I did.

Chapter Two

The Evening Begins

Rowen sat outside of the restaurant, tapping his fingers nervously on the steering wheel. Why he was feeling so nervous, he couldn't understand. Mina had suggested a little semi-casual café that Rowen was not familiar with. He looked out the window of his car, which was parked across the street, watching the small Christmas lights blaze to life in the growing darkness. It looked cute enough, and the smell of the food was making his mouth water.

'Come on, Rowen,' he said to himself as he switched off the car, 'it's not going to be that bad.'

Rowen had called Sage in a panic that morning because he had no idea what to wear. Sage had suggested khaki pants and a nice shirt, which Rowen was growing a little sparse on because he hadn't done laundry in ages. As Rowen dove into his closet and called suggestions to Sage over the phone, he finally decided on a cream colored Henley shirt. As he dusted it off (since it had been sitting for God knows how long on the floor of his closet), he heard Sage offer a suggestion.

"Just watch what you say, man. You have such a dry sense of humor, it seems a little bit rude from time to time."

Rowen stared into the phone in shock, "Well, at least I don't suggest to the ladies about how they should wear tighter pants because they have such a sweet ass."

As Sage stuttered and stammered trying to explain why that was smooth, Rowen cut him off by placing the phone calmly on the receiver.

And here he was, staring at the quaint café like it was going to chop off his head if he stepped inside. Finally, he gathered up his strength and got out of the car and into the cool night air. He approached the doors, and spotted a fair hand waving to him from the corner of a decorative flowerpot. He spotted Mina, and waved back, a grin on his face.

Mina walked from beside the pot to meet up with him, her long raven hair flowing in the breeze. She was dressed in a knee-length gray skirt, and a pressed green button-up blouse. Her eyes shimmered an unusual emerald green shade and her face crinkled into a smile. As she opened her mouth to say "hello" to him, her heel caught in a crevice in the sidewalk, and she began to fall.

Rowen ran over to try and catch her, but as he stretched his arms out to catch her, she slipped in between them, and she fell to the ground with a thud.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Rowen asked, trying to keep the obvious chuckle out of his voice.

She looked up at him with a bit of annoyance, but smiled anyway and rubbed her ankle, "Well, I guess that's what I get for trying to be over-dressed."

Rowen extended his hand to her, "Let me help you up. Sorry that I didn't catch you. I guess that I'm getting a little behind on the heroism bit."

Mina reached her hand up to him, and grasped it firmly, "That's okay. I'm not used to playing the damsel in distress."

Rowen pulled her up and began to dust off the bits of debris that had landed on her clothes. He didn't realize where he was brushing until he heard,

"Rowen."

"Yeah?" he asked as he continued to brush.

"You're being really sweet, but we can wait for later for that."

"What do you me-" he began as he stopped brushing, his sea-green eyes wide as he realized where his hand had stopped the task.

Right on her ass.

'Strike One', he thought to himself with a grimace.

He jerked his hand away almost immediately, and turned a shade of bright red, "Sorry." He mumbled as he hid his face in his hands.

Mina giggled as she pulled his hand down from his face, "It's okay. Like I said, you were being sweet… But maybe we could continue that later."

Rowen raised his eyebrows and stared down at her, trying to think of something to say. Instead, he remembered Sage's advice and only smiled instead of making a smart-aleck comment. He extended his elbow out to her, and she accepted it gratefully. As they approached the door, he held it open for her, and took the opportunity to view what he hadn't noticed a moment ago.

Maybe he'd onlyhit a foul ball earlier instead of a strike. Why else would she have said what she said? He smiled to himself as he walked in behind her and waited to be seated.

Maybe this wasn't going to turn out so bad after all! But then again, as he glanced down at his watch, he still had plenty of time to completely screw this up, and it was looking like it was going to be a long, challenging evening.

* * *

So, what do you think so far? This is my first humor fic, and it has been a lot of fun writing! What's going to happen to poor Rowen? Will he win the girl, or will outside forces interfere? Thanks to those with the kind words of encouragement. It has been greatly appreciated! 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own them, but I wish I did!

Chapter Three

My Stupid Mouth

The air was filled with the smells of the different food being cooked in the restaurant. Rowen took in the air, and sighed out loud. Mina looked over at him from the bench they were sitting on and smiled. They had talked for about five minutes after they sat down to wait for their table, but now a silence had floated over them. Rowen looked down at his watch as they continued to wait for their table. They had been waiting for almost fifteen minutes, and he was beginning to feel the lining of his stomach disappear as it digested itself.

"Are you hungry?" Mina asked with a grin as he placed his hands behind his head and sat back.

"Oh, but yes." He answered as he watched the hostess escort one couple to a table, "I could have swore that we came in before they did."

Mina propped her elbows up on her knees, and perched her chin on top of her hands. Rowen watched her carefully, afraid that he had once again said something wrong.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

She nodded, and brushed her skirt flat as she sat back up and looked him in the eyes, "I didn't think that they would be this busy tonight."

"It is a Saturday. Everywhere is busy on a Saturday night."

Rowen inwardly groaned as he saw her eyes divert from his to the floor. He wanted to smack himself in the forehead and take back what he said. 'That's definitely a strike'. He thought to himself as he noticed the hostess walk over to them.

He followed beside of Mina until they were shown a table by the window overlooking the street outside. Rowen pulled out a chair for Mina and carefully waited for her to grab it before pushing it in.

'I wouldn't want her to fall again.' He thought to himself with a chuckle.

As he took his seat, Mina had seemed to forget his comment earlier. She smiled at him as they were handed their menus and asked about their drinks.

As they waited for the waitress to return with their drinks, Mina asked, "Are you from Toyama?"

Rowen nodded, "Yeah, I've lived here all of my life."

"Really?"

Rowen furrowed his eyebrows and looked at her suspiciously, "Why do you ask?"

"I haven't seen that many people around Toyama with blue hair and blue eyes. It definitely makes you seem like a foreigner."

'Just keep the smile on your face, and nod, dude.' He instructed himself as he nodded and smiled.

"Are they natural?" she asked smartly as she took a drink from the water glass that had just arrived, "It just seems like a way of drawing unwanted attention to yourself, is all."

Rowen stared at her for a minute in shock at her rudeness, then answered, "Yes they are. Are yours?"

She almost spit out the water in her mouth as he asked the question, "Are my what?" she whispered.

Rowen smiled menacingly at her for a minute and decided to make her feel a little uncomfortable for the moment since she had started it, "What do you think I'm asking about?"

She took in a deep breath, and eyed him suspiciously. They stared each other down for a moment or two until she lowered her gaze towards her chest. Rowen raised his eyebrows and asked, "Well?"

She looked back up at him with a glare on her face and put her hand on the table. He watched as she folded her hand up to point at her breasts. Rowen faked surprise as he held up his hand to his mouth, and inhaled sharply.

"Mina! I don't know what you're talking about! I was asking about your eye color!" he whispered furtively.

Her eyes got wide as Rowen calmly took a drink from his own glass and looked away from her to hide the smile on his face. Hey, she started it after all. And besides, if she couldn't take a joke, then he didn't want to be around her anyway. He looked over at her from the corner of his eye, and saw that she was smiling and shaking her head.

"Yes, Rowen, my eye color is real." She said as she looked down at her hands still pointing towards herself. She quickly withdrew her hand, and placed it back in her lap as the waitress came by for their orders.

"What soup would you like to have with your salad, miss? We have won-ton and egg drop soup today."

Rowen watched her as she made her decision. 'Please don't say egg drop soup', he pleaded to himself as he watched her make up her mind.

"I'll have the egg drop soup, please." She said as the waitress nodded and wrote it down on her pad of paper.

Rowen moaned quietly as she turned to him and took his order. As the waitress walked away, Mina gave Rowen a questioning look, "Did you groan when I ordered that soup, Rowen?"

Rowen cleared his throat as he looked out the window, "It's nothing."

"It doesn't make you sick, does it?" she asked, almost afraid that she had done something wrong.

"Oh no, nothing like that. It's just…" he cut himself off before he crossed the point of no return. He had this conversation about egg drop soup with Sage once before, and had decided that it would be a bad idea to discuss it with his date.

But he knew that he had gone to far when Mina reached across the table and grabbed his hands and pleaded him with those big green eyes, "You can tell me."

Rowen removed a hand from hers and covered his face, "mit mels ike eat."

Mina sat back in her chair and stared at him for a moment, "What did you say?"

Rowen wanted to cry. He knew that this would be his last strike, and boy was it going to be a big one. So long, social life. Rowen has once again come knocking on the door of dating, and it was about to be shut firmly in his face.

He took in a shaky breath and removed his hands, "It smells like sweat."

He looked over at her with his eyes pleading her not to over-react, but the moment he uttered those four words, he saw the thoughts going through her head.

"So, in essence, if I eat it, then I like to eat sweat? Is that what you're saying!" she whispered snidely across the table.

Game over, dude. Please try again.

Rowen tried to cut into her tirade a few times to explain his little quirks with soup, but she would hear nothing of it. Rowen buried his head in his hands, as he wanted to sob like a baby. He began to pull his wallet out of his pocket as she continued on her rant.

"You ordered rice! Does that mean that you like to eat maggots!"

Rowen grimaced as that one passed across the table. A few of the other patrons had also hear her comment, and stared at the couple for a moment. He began to pull some money out as she wadded up the napkin in her lap and slung it on the table.

"I can't believe this! I let the comment slide about my boobs, but now! I'm being told that I like to eat sweat because I like egg drop soup! Of all the nerve of you, you little arrogant prick!"

"I didn't say anything about your chest, Mina. You brought that up. And if you think that I was asking if they were real or not, that sounds like a self-conscious issue to me, so don't unload all of your psychological issues on me."

And that was when the sting of the evening finally set in. She whirled a hand across his cheek so fast, he felt his eyes spinning like a slot machines' reels. He watched as she stormed out of the restaurant, slipping in and out of her heels. She tore out the doors, shoving her stuff in her car, and squealing tires to burn it out of there.

Rowen watched calmly as all of the chaos ensued around him. He lifted up his glass and held it to his cheek as he took in a breath and sighed aloud. He honestly didn't know why he was surprised that this happened. If anything, it should have happened way earlier in the evening. He looked down at his watch as he noticed the time. He smiled happily to himself as he realized that this was the longest date that he had ever been on! Usually, it was twenty minutes, and then this erupted.

"Sir, here's your food."

Rowen looked up and saw the waitress with the food hovering over him.

"Where did your lady friend go?" she asked as she set down his food.

"Oh, she got an important call and had to leave", he answered as she set down the forbidden soup on the other side of the table.

"Could you do me a huge favor?" Rowen asked as he eyed the bowl suspiciously.

"Sure. What?" she asked as she handed him his food.

"Could you take the soup away? It leaves a bad taste in my mouth."


End file.
